Author Archives: jley4

Rise of the Planet of the Apes – 2011

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Just taken scene-by-scene for the special effects, and even some of the acting… it’s an entertaining movie. But, when you think of the movie as a whole, there are some pretty major issues with the plot. Normally, I can put these things aside, but in this case, they were distracting. Instead of enjoying the movie, I was thinking about this stuff.

Question 1: What exactly are the apes going to do for food? Even during their day of rampage, I think they’d be left pretty darn hungry. Muir Woods is cool, but the redwoods don’t supply much food.

Question 2: During their rampage, the apes free a bunch of their brethren from the zoo. But, the zoo apes haven’t been spritzed with the “smart virus”, so how would they know what’s going on? They’re still “stupid apes”, as the orangutan put it.

Question 3: The actions of the guy running the company just aren’t rational. No executive would be so completely stupid – they’d be fired immediately… And ramping up production of an unapproved drug isn’t only stupid, it’s illegal.

With a little more imaginative writing, these questions could have been addressed, and the movie would have been better for it. How is it possible that people could spend millions of dollars on a movie, and be so lazy as to leave huge holes in the plot?

So, I guess we’re left with the obvious sequel, where the disease spreads and the apes take over… is that it?

Well, here we are…

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Ok, I’ve now officially transposed all my old movie reviews to this new blog. My goal is to do a short review on every movie I’ve seen in my life. Why? I’m not really sure. I suppose this idea started when I was reading those 2 sentence “summaries” that used to appear in the TV Guide. I figured, I could do better than some of those… and without any rules to follow, I just kind of stumbled forth. Maybe this blog will give some future social researcher some insight into my personality when I’m long gone. Who knows.

I’m not any kind of cinema expert. I have a rudimentary knowledge of cinema history, I don’t keep up on the latest independent releases or industry news or trends, and I really haven’t seen a lot of movies compared to many people. But, I know exactly how many I’ve seen – 998 as of this writing. Or at least, that’s how many I’ve remembered & written about. I’m sure there are a number that I’ve seen at some point, but just missed. I’ll add those when I notice them. (In fact, I just noticed one – Footloose!… so now I’m at 999!)

So, I’m probably over 1000 already… but for fun, I’ll make a big deal about the ceremonial 1000th movie. What will it be???? Possibly something over this holiday season.

I’ve added tags of the main stars or famous directors/writers/genres for many of these movies, just to make it more fun to navigate. It’s also interesting to see just how many movies starring Johnny Depp I’ve seen (13) or movies by Terry Gilliam (11), but even these aren’t terribly accurate counts. It’s all just for fun…

If I happen to come up with any general commentary (like this post), I’ll file it under “Comment”. I’m sure you needed to know that. Also, a lot of these movie reviews show a posting date of sometime in 2009. I just did that so they wouldn’t show up as “new”. I don’t know when I wrote those. My old list didn’t have any system for recording dates.

So, have fun roaming around the list… or ignoring it… or getting inspired to create your own list. What you make of this is up to you!

Elegy

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I just couldn’t relate to the characters in this… I mean, I didn’t really like them. And as a result, the slow pace was just difficult to endure. I’m sure they came to some profound conclusion on the nature of humanity, but I couldn’t get there with them. I ended up just forwarding through large sections of this, as I had better things to do. Does that mean I’m not qualified to write this review. I’m not that strict.

Ghost Town

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A lighthearted romantic comedy… A bitter guy who can see dead people is bombarded with requests for help. But in the end, hes the one who needs it most. This movie wont change your life, but if youre just looking for some silliness to help take you away from your stressful day-to-day… It might just be the ticket.

The Muppets

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Like an old friend, the muppets have arrived at our doorstep to say hello and see whats up. This is a delightful little movie that strikes just the right tone. Yes, its totally corny, and thats kind of the point. Some of the best moments are when the movie breaks that 4th wall (or is it the 5th wall?) and the audience is let in on the joke. The humans play along nicely, the songs are creative, and the muppets are refreshingly not CGI.
One plot point though… We find that Gonzo is the head of a successful plumbing company. The muppets need $10 million to save their theater… It seems the plumbing company had to be worth at least that much. That might have made a good finish – Gonzo suddenly realizing, wait a minute, I have $10 million, then someone else asks why he didnt think of that sooner, and the retort well, it wouldnt have been a very interesting movie…

Solaris

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A science fiction movie that keeps you guessing about what is real, what isn’t… and keeps you wondering about what the difference is. It was a little slow at times, and some of the characters were annoying non-forthcoming about their motivations. But, the story at the heart of the movie was worth pondering, and it was acted well; if you’re given a chance to redeem part of your past by living a fiction, do you do it? or move on?

That said, there were a few things that were simply not answered. Why did the one guy kill himself? (or was he killed?), and what exactly happened to the “commandos” who boarded the ship? I think they could have handled the “situation”, and certainly would have communicated back Earth about what was going on. Also, we’re left with the impression that there were once many people on the ship. So, what happened to them? Better yet, what happened to their “companions”? We see the little boy, but one must assume that the rest of them had companions too.

City of God

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A story about gangs and drugs in the slums of Rio… from the mid 1960s through mid 1980s, I think. The movie was powerful at times, and bloody all the way through. While it was worth seeing just for the portrait it portrayed. I was left feeling that it missed an opportunity to really get into the feelings and motivations of some of the characters – the main character in particular. He’s just presented as a ho-hum guy in the middle of it all. I suppose there probably are a lot of people like that, but why make a movie about ho-hum people with little to say? In the end, the only message I got was that violence & drugs are a dead end, and that at least gangs bring some sense of order to the chaos… for a short time. The movie was very loosely-based on some real characters…

Get Low

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One of those movies that hinges on a single plot revelation. A guy did something shameful when he was young, lives most of his life as a hermit, then attempts to come clean all at once to a bunch of people who probably don’t care. The movie was well done, but after the “big reveal”, I was thinking… really? That’s all  he did? I mean… people have done much worse.  For all that, I think the movie could have been a half-hour shorter.

Bottle Rocket

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This movie was indeed a lot like a bottle rocket… wandering aimlessly, but amusingly for a while, then finishing with a bang. To which, the viewer smirks, shrugs, and says “hmm”… or perhaps “huh”. It follows the exploits of a couple 20-something slackers, and their really poorly-thought-out plan for success through petty criminal mischief.

Jane Eyre

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About halfway through this, I turned to my viewing companion (who knew the story) and said, “what, does he have some kind of deranged brother locked up in the closet?”. I wasn’t too far off. I did enjoy the mood, the acting, and most of the plot twists… but the main one was one of these out-of-nowhere random “huh?” moments that seems more like a convenient way to wrap things up, rather than telling us any more about the characters and their relationships.. Like a cheap trick or something. Anyway, the movie is worth a view if you’re into this genre (that being romance-dramas about Victorian-era Britain).

Princess Kaiulane

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A nice little movie that will hopefully introduce a lot of people to another ugly chapter in US history. The movie does compress history a bit, but for those who are so particular, there’s a nice documentary included with the DVD – worth watching too. As for a movie on its own merits? It’s really not bad… It could have been done much worse. And if it’d been done a lot better, it probably would have required a greater degree of creative license with the actual history of events. As such, I think they got this one just about right – good enough to be engaging, but not so dramatic as to be dishonest with the history.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention what the movie is actually about – the take-over of Hawaii by a few US corporate interests. It follows the life story of the last royal princess, who was a remarkable representative of her people – especially given her young age. Although her cause was in vain… she was instrumental in winning at least a few concessions.

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

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When did Woody Allen spit this one out? I can barely keep up with Woody Allen’s movies, and all I have to do is watch them… He has to actually make them. I frankly don’t know how he does this. Anyway, this one has all the usual hallmarks. It was just silly fun, that might actually make you think about things. Basically the movie follows a cast of characters who reverse roles as the movie progresses. At first, one has a life in chaos, and all the others are on the rise. By the end, that same one is doing well, and everyone else is in chaos. The fun part about it is that the stories are hardly cut-and-dry, and the plot is linear. You might think this is what’s going to happen, but it’s not really clear until the very end. It’s a rare movie that uses every frame to tell the story. This one does.

Julie and Julia

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I have the same complaint that Julia Child had about the blog. It seems more like a gimmick than a real effort at enjoying cooking. The movie was the same way – I enjoyed the Julia bits, but could care less about Julie. The only other redeeming quality was just the concept of the movie – moving back and forth in time. But, everything about the Julie character seemed forced – and the dialog was just dreadful… just there to service the plot, “Gee what should I do? I know, a blog. But what should I write about? Hmmm.. how about cooking”. There have to be a dozen better ways to make the Julie character settle on her choice. She comes across looking like a cartoon.

Ridicule

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In the final years of the French Monarchy, all that matters is the amount of wit one possesses. (boy, there are a lot of Ss in possesses.). Our hero is trying to get in tight with the monarch to pay for some land improvements, but comes to realize the denizens of the court are totally ridiculous. Instead, he falls for the voluptuous doctor’s daughter (who would rather go diving than anything else) , and tells all the snobs to shove it. I’m not sure how to critique this. It’s pretty much what I said. Highlights of the movie? A few witty remarks perhaps.

Midnight in Paris

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Only Woody Allen could pull off a movie with a plot as goofy as it is good. In fact, this movie is perhaps best at its goofiest. As for that plot? A writer on the verge of marrying a high-maintenance rich girl time-travels back to paris in the 20s & hangs out with historical characters who are caricatures of themselves. He has this illusion that “some other time” is far more interesting than his own present. But, eventually comes to realize that every time is the past of some other future. It’s just hard to see the perspective from where we stand. So, make the most of right now! It’s a message that we can’t hear too often… and one that’s charmingly done here.

We of the Never Never

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I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry at this one. I suppose it’s a an Australian epic. I suppose we’re supposed to sympathize with the people. But, I never really felt like it was going anywhere. There was some character development, but no plot development. It was based on a true story of a city woman moving to the outback in turn-of-the-century Australia. Lots of sickness and death ensues, yet she seems to fall in love with the place. In a way, it was more true to life – a lot of our everyday lives are rather pointless too – but that doesn’t really work in a movie… it needs to have a story arc.

Where Angels Fear to Tread

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I’m honestly now sure what I thought about this one. The middle-aged widow from a rich family moves to Italy, is seduced by a suave young Italian, has a baby and dies. All along, the family tries to figure out how to retain its honor. There were some interesting characters in this (the son & daughter of the rich family), and some which made no sense at all (the Italian guy, and the Helena Bohnam Carter character – who was never really explained). In the end, there were some memorable scenes, and memorable lines, but as an overall cinematic experience, it was lacking a bit.

Sleep Dealer

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So, I saw this…  The plot was actually fairly interesting, but this thing was so low-budget, I just couldn’t get past the cheesy factor. As for the plot? It’s the near future… Mexicans are working in the US as “virtual” slave laborers. They hook up to an apparatus that enables them to remotely control construction & utility robots in the US. There’s a whole black market of people involved in this enterprise. At the same time, corporations have bought all the water rights across latin America, and charge insane amounts of money for access. A local farmer is mistaken for a terrorist, and blown up by a drone. The drone pilot has second thoughts about this whole episode later… and this brings him into contact with the farmer’s son, who is going the virtual labor thing out of desperation. Anyway, that all sounds pretty interesting right? I suppose it is. You just have to overlook the cheese.

The Dark Knight

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I held-out seeing this movie for quite some time. I have this thing about pop-culture movies that everyone swoons over. I just want to hate them or something. So, finally, I did see this… Ok, it was good. It was about as well-done as this movie could have been done. I’ve seen plenty of other better movies, but better similar movies? That’s a tough call. One thing I did like was the was the director delivered a sense of urgency. One thing I didn’t like was the way the joker was made to be just a little too super-human. I mean, I get it that he’s supposed to be a super villain and all, but let’s get real. There’s only so much one person can do, and how does he get all these people to follow him & help him out virtually flawlessly… when we know that most criminals (I’m talking about the underlings now) are really idiots… or they wouldn’t be criminals. So, in that regard, I guess the movie’s biggest shortcoming was that it tried to paint a picture of reality, but was just too much over the top.

Inception

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Ok Inception, I get it… you’re trying to mess with my mind. But, how hard is it to do that when you make all the rules, and don’t tell me the information I need to make an informed decision?  Ya, it was interesting, and I suppose I would recommend it as a decent movie, but it didn’t rock my world or anything. I heard some people were going on and on about how confused and twisted the plot was. I really didn’t find it too confusing… you just had to pay attention to what was going on, and what was being said.

House of Flying Daggers

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I wanted to like this. It was stylish, and beautiful to look at… but there was something just lacking. The characters were so 2-dimensional, and trying too hard to be more. It was like looking at a beautiful person, and at first you’re thinking “wow, they’re so beautiful”… but after a little while that changes to “wow, they’re so stupid”.

District 9

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Wow, this was impressive… I keep hoping for movies that have original plots, original approaches, tell a compelling story, have interesting & complex characters, and have a bigger message. It’s a rare thing, and so often I’m disappointed. But District 9 delivers on all fronts. Plus, it has aliens and explosions! How could you go wrong? Why is it so difficult to make more movies like this? It seems so simple.