The Accused

Jodie Foster gets gang-raped.  This movie got really good reviews, but I didn’t think that much of it.  The way the story was presented reminded me of a made-for-TV movie.  Sure, the subject matter was disturbing… but it didn’t really change my opinion of gang rape – um… it’s repulsive and wrong?  Do I really need a movie to tell me that?

Above the Law

I know I saw this movie, but I can’t remember which one it was.  I think it was the one where Steven Segal kills drug dealers… What’s the difference?  it’s a three-word SS movie.  Sure it sucked… it sucked 99 minutes of my life right down the tubes.

About Schmidt

An old man realizes his life meant nothing. Jack Nicholson was entertaining as the lead, but I was never really convinced that he was an insurance executive – there was just too much “Jack” there (plus, I didn’t really believe he could be that helpless without his wife). Still, like I said, it was an entertaining movie with some classic bits & characters – loved the son-in-law character.

Bella

Why did I watch this movie? I mean I guess it was decent enough… but out of the thousands of possible choices, why this one? And how has it changed my life? It was one of these decently-made movies with a plot that’s just a little too much on the wrong side of believable.  Scene by scene it was good, but as a complete story? Not so sure…

Just Add Water

Strange tale about the goings-on in Trona, CA. I’ve been to Trona – very strange place, I must agree. While this movie does capture some of the mood and feel of the place, it just doesn’t pass my disbelief filter. For starters, there’s no way that girl would have waited for the guy in the movie all those years… And the nearest parking garage to Trona, CA is like a 4 hour drive. We’re supposed to believe the main character lives in Trona, and works in a parking garage??? This scene was at the start of the movie, and the rest of the time, I was thinking, “huh”?

Burn After Reading

How many times have you seen a movie about some caper and the plot just gets deeper and deeper until there’s a conspiracy for someone to take over the world? Well, this movie is the opposite of that. A bunch of fools stealing something that just isn’t that valuable… A guy who thinks he’s way more important than he is… you get it. Twisted hilarity ensues.

A Man Named Pearl

Sweet movie about… well, a man named Pearl. He’s learned the craft of topiary – shaping plants into fantastic shapes – and in the process taught the town a lesson in the real measure of a man’s worth. My only complaint about this film is that it’s perhaps too long. It’s a great story, but gets a bit repetitive… like the director just couldn’t bring themselves to cut scenes of some local booster or far-away expert singing glowing praises of Pearl. Well, I suppose that’s not so bad.

Mary and Max

What an amazing thing this is. A whole big group of people devoted months or years of their lives to telling a story about an unlikely friendship between a strange young girl in Australia, and a middle-aged misfit loner in New York… with grotesque animated clay figurines. Who’d have thunk it’d work so well? I’m so glad there are people out there taking chances.

It’s Complicated

Oh, I guess this was entertaining… But what kind of people are these? It bugs me when the characters in a movie have these amazing lives… Everyone is a rich lawyer, rich architect, rich business owner (and a cool business like a bakery). I guess people like these do exist, but something about it just bugs me. I’m sitting here trying to figure out I’m going to eat dinner, drop some stuff off at goodwill, update my blogs, edit some photos, do my emails, and water the plants all in the couple hours of “life” I have after work. Now THAT’s complicated.

Dungeons and Dragons

Sad that this movie is what they came up with. But, it was aimed at kids, so what can you expect. What they should have done was made it R-rated and aimed it at 20-something geeks. There could have been blood, guts, etc. Also, they tried to make this true to the game by inserting all kinds of “lingo” here and there, but it was totally lame – the thing which makes D&D special to people is the “feel” of it, not the lingo. This movie had no feel, it was just a bunch of poorly written, overacted nonsense.

Dune

Visually stunning.  Hey, David Lynch did this one.  I never read the book Dune, but I think this movie suffered from trying to be too “true” to the book.  My guess is that it was a really complicated story.  I think it would have taken a 10-hour  film to do this correctly… but who would watch that, much less make it?  Still, it was pretty darn cool.  Although, I have to wonder, how hard could it really be to stop giant worms given futuristic technology?  Ever heard of a nuclear bomb?

Dumbo

A really cool movie.  I have to wonder what the animators were thinking when they came up with the “pink elephants” scene – my favorite.  And those crows… something that would never fly in a modern movie… but there it is.

Drowning by Numbers

The game drowning by numbers is played by a contestant who remains in a seated position, so that he can view the scenes.  The scenes are played in a sequential order such that the plot is developed chronologically.  Sequential numbers may be shown in some scenes so that the viewer can more easily follow along.  Any contestant who views all the scenes is proclaimed a winner.

Dragonslayer

It might seem silly now, but when I was growing up, movies like Dragonslayer were about as good as  you could get for a sword & sorcery flick. And really, it’s not all that bad. The story was kept simple – it wasn’t trying too hard to be “about the end of the world” or something, just killing a single dragon.

Dracula 2000

Oh boy… why do I go see these movies? I had nothing else to do that night. I suppose it was better than watching an ant farm for 2 hours, but not much. The plot? Dracula is really Jusdas Iscariot… they kill him.