ya! and it’s all his fault too. Damn Bellboy. Just getting drugs and hookers for all the rich and famous. Your world is fake. Oh, the movie? It was fun to watch. It was a “comedy of misunderstandings”, kind of like a long episode of 3’s company.
The Blair Witch Project
I saw this toward the end of my PCT hike in ’99. I was told that Bob said it, “rocked his world”. Sorry all you teenaged-open-mined-the-world-is-so-untamed kids out there. This was a dumb movie. I was a little impressed with the filming of the movie, but “lost in Maryland?” get real.. there’s a frickin’ road every few miles in Maryland. Just follow the stream downhill for a while and bam! civilization… or maybe a civil war battlefield anyway.
Blades of Glory
Am not. Are too! Am not. Are too! Am not. Are too!
Blade Runner
I finally just saw this 1 week ago (January 2000). I don’t know how I missed it all these years. It was very stylish and had a decent story (although finding the replicants was a little too easy). It was only average until the very end though. The replicant turns out to be more humane than the humans. It made the movie more than just another sci-fi thriller.
Blade
A vampire movie. As vampire movies go, this was one of the better ones… er, more fun ones anyway. There were a lot of well done action scenes (almost overdone, but not quite). Ummm, I don’t really know what else to say..? If you want to see a movie where a suave superhuman goes around slicing up vampires, then this is your movie. (I wish the ending was a little different though – like if the “bad guy” wasn’t able to control the evil that he created, and it somehow killed him, etc. I thought he died a little too easily)
Blacula
I saw a preview for this movie when I went to see a crummy vampire movie in San Jose. I can’t even remember the name of the movie I saw that night (oh, it was Nadja), but I did remember the preview for Blackula. For a while I wondered if it was just some kind of joke… then I found out, it’s a real movie. It was on TV late night some night. It was one of the the most hilarious movies I’ve ever seen. You may be wondering… what would a movie called “Blackula” be about? Well, you’re right. It’s a totally cheesy 70’s movie where Dracula is a brother. “blacker than night”, and he was. I guess there was a time when someone thought there needed to be a “black version” of every movie standard – “black-xplotation” they call it. I just call it silly. Now, we have “Blade” instead… see below!
Bittersweet Motel
Yup, the Phish “rockumentary”. I saw this at 7pm on a Tuesday night and the place was packed, that surprised me a bit. A director followed the band around for a year or so and edited-together a movie. I think the movie did capture the whimsical attitude of the band, but there’s a lot more to Phish than this movie shows. For one, the portrayal of the fans was pretty weak (they’re not all superficial drugged-out jerks). If you want to know what Phish means to some people, check out the “what is Phish” section on phish.net. The song selection was odd – a lot of standards were left out, and some mellow rarities were spotlighted and the sound wasn’t as good as it could have been. Plus, there was a lot of Trey (Phish’s guitarist). Trey can be pretty darn funny, entertaining and insightful, but he’s not all there is in the world of Phish. Then again, maybe the editing was just a reflection of what the director really saw… maybe Trey just dominated all the conversations. Generally, it was a decent film… I have no idea how it would play with non fans though.
The Birds
I was about 14 years old and this movie was playing on WGN – channel 9 in Chicago. I thought “cool”, I had never seen this movie, and it was supposed to be a classic Alfred Hitchcock film. I was all geared. My mom asked me what I was doing and I casually mentioned that “the birds” was on, and I was going to watch it. I could not possibly have prepared for her reaction. “No.”. No? what the hell? I just laughed at first and sat down in front of the TV. Then she started to persist. She was actually serious. I couldn’t believe it. I’d already seen “everything there was to see” on the screen (trust me), and my Mom wasn’t going to let me see “the birds”? and it was edited for television no less. I eventually saw the movie. As far as the “scare factor” goes, it was nothing. In fact, I thought it was a bit silly. Perhaps it was scary in 1950, but by today’s standards? It was like watching Disney. As for a movie in more general terms? It was decent, but didn’t blow my mind or anything. I think that’s the case with a lot of old movies. Filming techniques have advanced so much that what was once groundbreaking work by a genius like Alfred Hitchcock is now what everybody does… so it shines less. Too bad, but that’s just how it goes, I suppose.
Bio-dome
Really really dumb. But did anyone expect it to be good? I mean look at the plot: MTV flunkie Pauly Shore gets stuck in an artificial biodome with a bunch of scientists? Come on! I don’t even remember the circumstances under which I saw this (well, I didn’t actually see all of it, and I remember even less, but I think I saw enough to write a review). Anyway, you’re prejudice is correct in this case – it sucked.
Billy Madison
At the time I saw this, it was about the only bit of Adam Sandler that I could palette (sp?). It was an incredibly stupid and just plain brain dead movie, but I was able to sit through it. I couldn’t recommend it to anyone though – I saw this so you didn’t have to, so don’t.
Billy Elliot
I never thought I would dig a movie about a poor English kid who likes to dance. But dig it I did.
Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey
This was a bogus attempt to cash in on the original. What made the original so good was that it was so original. This movie didn’t have that. So, we’re just left with the characters. Ok, Bill and Ted? There’s just not enough there to carry two movies. The whole “station” thing seemed to me nothing more than “we’ve run out of ideas”, and that’s about when I ran out of patience for this movie.
Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure
I remember seeing this movie for the first time, saying “Ya!” and laughing my ass off. It’s still quite funny, but now I’ve seen it like a zillion times and it’s become a parody of itself.
The Big Lebowski
Nice indeed to think that the dude is out there, takin’ ‘er easy for the rest of us. I see in the dude, any of us… most particularly me, or at least what could be me, with a little more or less effort. I have to say that based on my own experience, there is a lot of prejudice out there regarding the “unemployed”. Lately, people have asked me, “what do you do?” although I really think they’re asking “who are you?”. When I respond “nothing.”, I invariably answer the wrong question. They assume that I am indeed nothing. Anyway, sorry for delving there, I just mean that I identified with the dude on a higher level. Although I don’t personally see the attraction of bowling, I see how the dude could. Every man has his nirvana.
Big Fish
You may think that seeing all these movies is just like buttering pancakes, but it isn’t always like that. It was really crowded at the video store on a Friday night, and the new DVDs were flying fast and furious from the walls. From across the room, I spotted a lone copy of “Big Fish” on the shelf, just waiting for that last lucky customer. As I began to walk toward my prize, I caught the eye of the meanest looking man who ever graced the stiffly carpeted floor of the video store. I could tell by the line of his sight he was headed for the very same rack I was. My walk turned into a trot, and then quickly into a run. He didn’t look like the type who would like “Big Fish”… maybe he’d just noticed there was only one copy left. Maybe that made him think it was worth seein’, or maybe he was just out to ruin my day. In any case, he sure looked determined to grab it first. And you know, there aren’t really any laws governing the video store, it’s every man for himself, finder’s keeper’s, you got it, you own it… So, we reached the video at exactly the same time, and grabbed the video at exactly the same time, and lifted it off the shelf together. “It’s mine”, he said forcefully to me. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the video store clerk put another movie onto the shelf behind the man. “Oh my!”, I exclaimed, ” ‘From Justin to Kelly’ is back in stock – there’s only one copy!”. Naturally, he turned his head, and in an attempt to ruin my day further, dropped “Big Fish” in favor of the other film. Now, I haven’t seen “From Justin to Kelly”, and for all I know, it is a fine piece of cinema. But that night I did see a real big fish, and he fell hook line and sinker for the oldest trick in the book.
Big
Sure, it was a cute movie, but it wasn’t that great. I think the idea of this movie would have worked better if it wasn’t a comedy/drama. It would have been a great black comedy or sad drama. Careful what you wish for!
Beverly Hills Cop II
If I couldn’t remember what #1 was about, how am I supposed to remember #2?
Beverly Hills Cop
You know, I can’t even remember what the hell this was about. Something with a banana in a tailpipe is about all that comes to mind.
On a Clear Day
Middle-aged guy has no passion in his life, so decides he’ll swim across the English Channel. It’s your typical “group of losers from a small English town band together to do something great” movie. I think there is a whole genre of this kind of movie.
Small Time Crooks
Charming Woody Allen movie with a classic plot about crime gone wrong… in an unexpected fashion. If you like him, you’ll like this. If you don’t? I don’t know…
White Night Wedding (aka Brúðguminn)
I guess I have a soft spot for Icelandic movies. I’m not sure if this movie was trying to be a quirky wedding comedy, or a dark drama about mental illness. You might call it a dark comedy, but the juxtaposition of the “dark” and the “comedy” parts is just a little hard to mix in one’s head. Anyway, I enjoyed it simply for the slice of Iceland that it provides. And in the end, if you just accept the Icelandic psyche is a little strange and warped, I suppose you can accept this strange, warped movie.
Take the Money and Run
Woody Allen’s second (by some measures) movie… maybe you could call it his first. It’s interesting to watch just to see how Woody Allen’s style has developed… but is it a great movie on its own merit? Well, not really… But, all the same, I don’t feel like I wasted time watching this.
Whatever it Takes
I wrote a note to myself to review “Whatever it Takes”. I have no idea what this movie was… searching just tells me that there are like 10 movies with this title. I have to wonder – if you’re going to make a movie, don’t you google it first to see if it’s been used already? Sheesh. Whatever this movie was, it couldn’t have been that good because I have no memory of it.
Footloose – 1984
Looking back, it’s amazing how ridiculous and yet moving this movie was. I mean, if someone tells you the plot, you have to laugh – really??? But, then when you watch John Lithgow’s transformation at the end of the movie, you have to think… well, I guess so. Kind of makes you see the Taliban in a whole other light – they’re in the USA too.
Wrongfully Accused
My god what a dumb movie. This was nothing more than 1.5 hours of really pathetic attempts at humor. It was just plain worthless. Why do they even make these movies? Why does HBO show them? Why do I watch them? It’s a viscous circle – the blind leading the blind round and round. Leslie Nielsen has hit an all time rock bottom low with this one. (Of course, I never saw Mr. Magoo).