Did you ever wish you could go back in time and just smack someone in the face? Just shake everyone to get them to snap out of their stupid societal constraints? I wonder if people from the future will feel the same about us? Anyway, as for this movie… it was entertaining, well structured, and left me feeling good about life in general… so that’s good I suppose.
Beavis and Butt-head Do America
This suffers from the same problem as many TV-to-movie things. It borrows too heavily from the TV show, and is just way too much. Beavis and Butthead work much better in shorter bits. Sure, the movie was broken-up to make it like a bunch of TV-shows spliced together, but by the second time Beavis did “cornholio”, I was rolling my eyes.
A Beautiful Mind
A beautiful film. For much of the first half, I wasn’t sure if I liked it… but by the end, I did. It made me wonder if I was sane… perhaps every waking moment of my life is a delusion, perhaps these aren’t really words I’m typing. Perhaps the commies have brainwashed me into thinking the cold war has ended and are simply using me as a puppet to transmit secret messages diguised as movie reviews to an armada of robotic aliens hiding behind the moon. Perhaps I’m not really living in an underwater tube city populated with glimmering gelatinous super-jellies. Perhaps if I just ignore reality, it will all just go away.
Beastmaster 2
The only redeeming quality of this movie was the comedic element. It didn’t take itself seriously at all. The producers knew they were just cashing-in, and weren’t ashamed to admit it. Best scene? where they’re riding down some street in Hollywood and “Beastmaster” is playing at the theater. A good movie for that Sunday morning hangover – it doesn’t require your full attention, and you might just laugh a few times. But, I just have to put this in my “Bad” category… because the best thing about this was how bad it was.
Beastmaster
I think this movie has the record for “most broadcasts on USA / TNT / Fox / etc.” For a while there it was on all the time. It was on so much that the movie attracted fans and spun-off a TV series. Anyway, the movie itself was really cheese-ball entertainment. The scenes were all pretty brief, and the plot kept moving along – so if you didn’t like one scene, you could just try-out the next one. I actually liked this movie – I admit it! It came out when I was like 10 years old – perfect timing.
Bean
Bean works a lot better in a shorter – non-movie – format. I feel sorry for the people who’s only exposure to Mr. Bean was this movie. The shorter, previous mini-films were just hilarious. The Mr. Bean movie just didn’t do it for me. It seemed kind of americanized, and that doesn’t really work well with Brit-humor. I hope Rowan Atkinson invents another character soon and just retires Bean. When does the Black Adder movie come out?
The Beach
This movie was pretty full of itself. It was rather predictable too – of course paradise is going to fall apart. Some things just didn’t make sense either – why in the world wouldn’t they try to save the shark victim’s life? couldn’t they boat him to civilization and just say that he got bit by a shark? come on, people “cool” enough to live in a secret island commune would be cool enough to save some guy’s life.
Battlefield Earth
You know, this wasn’t so bad… if you can just ignore a few things, like cavemen flying 1000 year-old fighter jets, the fort knox thing, a planet that explodes with the slightest exposure to radiation, etc… You end up with a movie that’s better than a lot of the crap out there. I thought it was way better than Independence Day anyway (that’s not hard though). It kind of reminded me of “Beastmaster” for some reason. Still I have to put this in my “bad” category… even though it was so bad, it was nearly good (and the whole Scientology angle is just icing).
Batman Begins
Wait, didn’t Batman begin with just “Batman”? Yes, it was stylish, had some neat effects, etc… but I thought this movie took itself way too seriously – like it was so over-grandiose I was rolling my eyes. Something was odd about the Batman character as well – like I didn’t really believe he wanted to do good. Maybe that was intentional – to show the dark side of Bruce Wayne – but it left me kind of luke-warm trying to sympathize with him.
Batman IV?
I don’t think there was a Batman 4… or was there? Maybe I blended two of the previous movies together? Who cares anyway. I’ve written so many of these damn review things that they all kind of blend together actually. I don’t know how I keep all these movies apart.
Batman III
I think this was the one with Robin and Batgirl. They were really stretching for ideas here. Even Ahnold couldn’t save this movie. Oh, wait, I think he was in some other one.
Batman II
I think this was the one with Val Kilmer and cat-woman & the penguin. I don’t know, they all kind of blend together… No, wait, Val Kilmer came later.
Batman
I didn’t really like this movie. It was way over-hyped. I especially didn’t like the scene with the prince songs in the museum. The whole movie seemed a bit “crammed together”. They really didn’t spend the time developing the villain’s character (a problem with all the Batman movies). I don’t think people realize that comic book characters can be really complex – that’s what’s appealing about them. They’re not appealing if they’re just presented to us with no real background other than “this is a good guy” or “this is a bad guy”. the other Batman movies had this same problem – especially Batman III. Yes, they did make an effort to develop the characters in all these movies, but I don’t know, it just seemed like it wasn’t enough.
Basketball Diaries
About the drug-underworld of high school basketball. I’ve actually heard from some people that this does exist. After all, the movie is based on a book – a true-life story. It was well-done, but essentially, it had “been done” before – how far does an addict need to go to hit rock bottom? Pretty darn far.
Baseketball
Splendidly stupid. You’ve probably heard the story… a couple of losers invent a game that combines basketball with baseball and it becomes a phenomenon. This movie was a little better than I thought it’d be. The plot wasn’t too great, and some of the scenes were stupid, but there was enough silliness to make up for that. Plus, the two main characters (who created ‘South Park’ in real life) had a lot of good chemistry. It was interesting comparing this movie to Mafia!. Abrams and Zucker made a series of silly movies (Airplane, Top Secret, etc). Abrams did Mafia and it sucked. Zucker did baseketball and it was decent. I think the best thing about this movie was how it never took itself seriously… just when it would start to get “serious”, the whole sub-plot would turn out to be another setup for a big joke (like the child labor subplot). I like movies that poke fun at seriousness… what else can I say?
Barton Fink
I don’t remember much about this movie’s actual plot… something about a writer, and John Goodman is the devil or something. I do remember that I liked it though. It had some really neat stuff in it. I just wish I could remember what it was actually about. Maybe I’ll see it again someday.
The Bank Job
Usually you see a movie like this, and have to roll your eyes because you know it could never be real. This one is real. Well, mostly… (sure, they embellished a lot). Be sure to watch the extras – just fascinating. One thing though – I wish they could have let at least one of the characters get away with the money. I mean, since they’re embellishing, why not?
Bambi
Let’s set the record straight, Bambi is a BOY! Why the hell do I always see bimbos named Bambi? It’s a guy’s name dammit! I’ve had more than one argument with people who insist that Bambi was a girl, then realize… hey, you’re right, he was a buck. What the hell is going on out there??? Wake up!!!
La Bamba
Is there any 50’s rock n roller who hasn’t had a movie made about them? They’re all about the same story actually.
Bad Boys
Just like the title says… some bad boys. This showcases a young Ally Sheedy and Sean Penn. I saw it almost by accident – on TV some random Saturday. It was too long, and some of the characters just didn’t make sense… where was their motivation? But, some scenes were cool.
Back to the Future III
Well, I’m glad they didn’t make a fourth sequel. This was just about enough. It was more fun, but I was ready for the “saga” to be over with by the end.
Back to the Future II
Hey, they HAD to make a sequel… and why not two while they’re at it (II and III were filmed at the same time). This movie was a bunch of fun, about as good as the sequel could have been.
Back to the Future
Just plain escapist fun. Answers all those “what if” questions, and is pieced together seamlessly. It was a blast.
Bachelor Party
I dunno what to say about this one. It definitely had it’s moments, but it’s hard to say that it was a great movie. It was more a series of funny gags & stand-up comedy. It was fun, but I don’t know that I’d like to view it again.
Babel
This movie tried a little too hard to pull at our emotions… and because of that I thought it was like cheating, and it lost its heart. There are some well-crafted scenes (liked the grittiness of the mexican wedding), but on the whole, I just felt like I was being fed a lie.