Movie Reviews - H
Hackers: Hollywood knows nothing about computers, and they assume that 'we the people' don't either. This was supposed to be some slick cyberpunk production about kids breaking into computers. I thought it was more like MTV's cast of "the real world" gets computers. Oh my gaaaood!!!
Halloween: One of the first wave of this genre. It was good only because it came out at a time when this idea was fresh. Now, it's been done a thousand times. It's easy to dismiss this movie in retrospect.
Happenstance: A cute movie that is growing on me more now that it's over. For a while it was really dialogue-heavy, which is difficult with a sub-titled film. But, it was really well thought-out, and the bits really didn't seem contrived. Basically, it's about all the little odd bits of happenstance that happen over the course of a day that bring two people together. If not for any one of these things, they might not have ever met. Makes me wonder about all the things that have brought me to my current state of affairs... and wonder if any little randowm things I've done have altered the course of others lives... make me feel both powerful and powerless at the same time.
Happy Gilmore: I hate this movie with a passion. I haven't seen all of Adam Sandler's movies, but most of them suck. This one REALLY sucks. Yes, I know, a lot of people have just the opposite feeling. But, I guess I have a different view of golf. The jokes in this movie should be funny only to someone who doesn't play much or any golf. It was totally shallow, and just unbelievably dumb. If you want to see decent golf humor, see caddyshack.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: I had just read the book when I saw this, and the movie was almost too much to absorb... I kept looking at everything, and trying to figure out exactly what they might have skipped... It was a very odd way to see a movie. If you do go see it, don't read the book the night before... give it some time.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: Mildly entertaining I suppose, but hardly riveting... It felt like somebody was behind the screen, just turning the crank. More special effects, more wizard stuff, more monsters, etc etc etc... Did you notice how utterly helpless all the "professors" are? I mean, they don't even try to solve the mystery, they just want to give up and close the school - even the head wizard dude doesn't really do anything. The plot would have been more engaging if the professors were trying to solve the mystery too, but stuck on a "wrong path" or something. I suppose that's what one gets in a kid's book/movie though - helpless adults & hero kids.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Well, they finally got it right. Good acting, good directing, good script, good effects... I think it helped a lot that the kids were a bit older in this one. It made their sleuthing a little more believable.
Heathers: I just heard that they're making a Heathers 2. With Winona Ryder no less. That should be real interesting. Yes, I loved this movie... High School sucks, it needs to be destroyed. (update... ok, maybe they're not making an H-2: Judgement Day)
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer: Wow. What a seriously creepy movie. It's a rare film where the lead character, or "hero", is a truly evil person. Not just a bad guy, but downright deranged. To top it off, they almost gave this movie a happy ending... and then there's that final sequence! This movie was totally twisted. I loved it.
Hercules in NY: One of the most hilarious films I've seen. The only problem is that it's too long. After about a half-hour I said to myself, "why am I wasting my life watching this?". Ahnold's first movie, he's credited as "Arnold Strong", his voice is dubbed by some soap star or something. "I am Hercules". I'm sitting here laughing out loud just thinking about it.
Highlander: This movie would have been great if it had just stopped with one movie. Instead, there is a whole "highlander" empire out there - TV show, stupid sequel, t-shirts, fan clubs, etc... All that stuff has really diluted the original. As for this movie, it was good, had one of the best bad guys ever. Especially, the bad guy's voice.
Highlander II: Doesn't even deserve to be called a movie. What the hell was this crap? This movie is incredibly bad. When I think of all the people who've watched it, and all the people who made it... I just want to cry out loud! I wish I had a time machine, so I could go back and stop them from ever making this.
Highway Patrolman: This is a Mexican movie that's... well... Mexican. It's the film equivalent of a velvet painting of Mary framed with chistmas lights. It's one of those things that should have you turning your head, but you can't because it's so true, so real. The movie is about a Mexican cop who graduates from the academy & gets posted to Mexican siberia - some dirt infested town in the middle of nowhere. He gradually loses his idealism & becomes just another nameless face... It's a sick thing, but how can you not watch it?
Himalaya (also called Caravan): A really cool & unique movie. It really has a timely story about generational conflict and human nature, but it's set in a timeless place. The movie takes place (apparently) in the mountains of Tibet. There is nothing in this movie that attaches it to a time period (other than one brief glass bottle - but that hardly narrows it down). The movie was filmed entirely in Nepal, and the authenticity of the actors and scenery shine. If you're sick of seeing the same old movie again and again, go see Himalaya.
Home Alone: Has anyone checked to see if McCaully Culkin is a heroin addict yet?
Homegrown: This movie is about a bunch of dope growers in northern California. Their boss gets killed, they don't know who did it, and they decide to sell the crop... but they don't really know what they're doing. It's a pretty funny movie - it doesn't have much of the 'whooo I'm so stoned' type of humor, it's sort of a dark comedy about a bunch of people in way over their heads. This theme has been done before, but this movie takes a somewhat fresh approach. I never had the feeling that I'd seen it all before, the acting, characters, and writing were all good, and I liked the ending & the way the plot wrapped itself up. I was surprised by all the big names in it: Ted Danson, John Lithgow, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kelly Lynch, Billy Bob Thornton...
Honey, I Blew up the Baby: What a mess!
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids: What the heck... good family fun. I like Rick Moranis. I think he should play an obsessed weirdo fan/stalker in some movie, wouldn't that be freaky?
Hook: Robin Williams, Peter pan, you get the idea.
Hoop Dreams: A really neat documentary. Especially since I was going to Marquette at the same time part of this movie was filmed. (I'm not in the movie though). I thought it was a very real portrayal of an interesting subculture - which is what many good documentaries are. I remember that people thought this got snubbed at the Oscars. I have to ask, how many people actually saw the movie that won? Sure Hoop Dreams was good, but how do you know it was "the best" unless you've seen all the competition? It's simply a documentary that many people saw. There are a lot of decent documentaries out there.
Hot Shots: A mediocre attempt at an "airplanesque" movie that parodies top gun. There are a couple funny jokes, but not enough.
The Hot Spot: The only thing I remember about this movie was that I saw it. Oh, and Virginia Madsen was in it & had a continuously "lusty" look on her face.
House of Wax: Why don't they make 3D movies anymore? I really like them. I'd really like to see a regular movie that's made in 3D... not one that exploits the technology with cheesy in-your-face stunts.
Howard the Duck: An alien who looks like a giant duck comes to earth & much "fish out of water" humor ensues. The kind of movie that will be forgotten until some vague reference is made to it in some "art film", wherein it's explained that "Howard the Duck" is a perfect metaphor for the human condition or something.
The Howling: Back when latex was state of the art.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (animated): Glorious in every respect.
The Hudsucker Proxy: This was a really cool movie, go see it. Why this didn't get some kind of award is beyond me. JJL did a great job, and I dunno, the whole thing was just a fun story. The opening sequence was amazing, and the whole "idea" thing just kept getting funnier.
Hulk: I heard this thing on NPR where a couple snobby movie reviewers were discussing how movie reviews didn't matter if enough marketing money was thrown at a piece of junk. They were using "Hulk" as an example. While I agreed with the premise, Hulk mostly received good reviews - it was a ridiculous example, and made the whole piece seem pretentious and stupid. I liked how the movie stepped slightly outside the predictable summer blockbuster good guy vs. bad guy formula. The bad guy dies halfway through, and the good guy isn't really "good", he's just a guy. Throw in some crazy battle sequences and special effects to please the kids, and you have a good piece of entertainment.
The Hunt for Red October: Yer typical cold war espionage/submarine flick. What do I care if some idiots blow themselves up out in the middle of nowhere? Men and their games...