Movie Reviews - M
Mad Max: Mel actually playing an Australian. This would have been fine if it hadn't been duplicated (and therefore diluted) by so many ripoff movies.
Mafia!: This movie was so dumb I didn't even finish watching it. (Were those supposed to be jokes???). Just a bunch of people standing around trying to be funny or something. I can't believe this was made by the same person that helped make Airplane! and top secret. Where's Zucker?
Magnolia: Strange to say, but I think this movie needed to be longer. It was really long, but I think it needed another 20 minutes to really complete the stories. In case you wondered, this is another of those "intertwined lives" movies, a la 'short cuts' or 'pulp fiction'. It was done really well - there was a lot of good acting, and the direction was first rate. I wish I could find better words of praise for this movie... it deserves some. I guess I'm just not sure what it was really about. Perhaps it was just about life & relationships & consequences, but isn't almost every movie about that? Anyway, if you want to see an inventive, beautiful, smart and long movie, go see this.
Maid in Manhattan: Just read the plot summary on the jacket of the DVD, you'll save yourself 2 hours of completely predictable and totally absurd "plot". On second thought, even reading the jacket is a waste of time.
Mall Rats: I was really rooting for silent Bob to "see" the 3D picture. He's missing out on one of life's great joys. Although if one can't see the picture, one might as well cause mayhem in a mall. I thought the love story was dumb, that one guy who went on the game show was a total dork, he didn't deserve the girl. But there was plenty of good dialogue and general goofiness.
The Manhattan Project: Smart kid builds a nuclear bomb. This was intelligently done. It would be really easy to screw up a movie with this kind of plot. It's been done countless times. Sure, the "steal the plutonium" scene was a little unbelievable, but it did work - the movie didn't make any "leaps of faith" with respect to plot development, it let the intelligence of the characters move the plot along. (one thing though, if you smoke inside, it still smells for hours afterwards)
The Man in the Iron Mask: Few people had kind words to say about this, but I liked it. Sure, it was a bit predictable, but stories like this usually are. I think people didn't like it because of a subconscious backlash against Leonardo DiCaprio. This movie came out soon after Titanic. I think people wanted Hollywood's golden boy to flounder a little. Sure, this movie wasn't awesome or anything, but it was decent.
The Man With One Red Shoe: I don't really remember much about this movie - it was from back in the days when Tom Hanks still did comedies. Kind of your "normal guy gets mixed up in big conspiracy" thing. It was pieced together pretty well.
The Man Without a Face: More Mel. Pretty cheesy, rather dismissible.
The Man with the Golden Gun: James Bond kills an evil millionaire bent on ruling... or destroying the world.
The Man with Two Brains: Steve Martin meets Frankenstein... er something like that. I guess he doesn't build a monster, but there is an "igorish" element to the movie. It would be cool if this kind of thing could really happen. I'd love to live on in a jar of jelly after my body dies.
March of the Penguins: I'd been waiting for this - a really good documentary about Emporer Penguins. I don't think it could have been done much better than this either. One thing though, the movie seems to imply that this group is the only group of Emporer Penguins in the world, when that's not the case.
Mars Attacks: Neat, but it should have been about a half hour long. It was like they created these neat Martian characters, but then they didn't know where to go. They should have cut some scenes short and lengthened others.
Mask: Gosh, what a sad movie. It does make one think about those people that aren't blessed with a "normal" body or normal life. I think almost everybody has been guilty - at least on the subconscious level - of seeing a disfigured person and cringing. I think there must be some evolutionary biological mechanism at work there. What would happen if the elephant man's mother was a biker chick? go see this movie and find out.
The Mask: Jim Carrey's "breakthrough" movie (and Cameron Diaz's too). He is good in this movie, but I think the success of this certainly contributed to his current annoying personality.... and for that, the Mask can not be forgiven.
Master and Commander of the other side of the world... or some such place: It's a Man's movie, dammit. Ships, guns, rogues, botany... botanty? Well, they're enlightened men... they are British after all. It's filled with a lot of predicable action and acting, but still a lot of fun to watch.
The Matrix: I hear they're making a couple sequels to this at the same time. I'm sure they'll make tons of money. yes, it was a neat stylish movie, I liked it. I was happy that they took plenty of time to explain exactly what the matrix was. I've seen too many movies that leave that kind of stuff hanging because they figure people won't understand it anyway.
The Matrix Reloaded: I had the feeling they made the "true reality of the Matrix" so complicated that nobody could really understand it... instead, all the moviegoers just nod their heads and say, "oh ya... that's so deep.". Huh? Some of the action scenes go on too long, but the middle of this movie - the parts with the keymaker & such - were really good. The whole thing actually started to feel like an alternate reality... it was so deep.
The Matrix Revolutions: Despite the fact the movie tries way to hard to be really really epic (especially near the end - everything is soooo dramatic - by the time Trinity bites it, I was just thinking, come on! get it over with already!) I did like this movie. However, I was wondering about one thing... if the people can fly from Zion to the surface of the planet, why do the machines have to drill through anything to reach Zion?
Maximum Overdrive: I think this was based on Stephen King book. Why do they keep making his books into movies? almost all of them suck (the movies, not the books... I've never read any of his books, it's just not my thing) The machines come alive! look out!
Mean Machine: See review for "The Longest Yard"... except this is soccer... and slightly better.
Medicine Man: Have you ever just watched a movie on fast-forward, stopping every so often to catch up on the plot? I've done that... not with this movie, but this would be a good candidate for the method. Sean Connery looks for a cure for cancer in the jungle, ho hum.
Memento: Really well done. The movie is about a guy who has no ability to form new memories. He gets wrapped-up in a complicated plot where he's trying to exact revenge on the person who killed his wife, but is really being used by those around him. The writing and editing/direction of the movie was really good. The movie is presented in "reverse time", which was a great way of helping the audience identify with the main character... possibly the only way. The only problem? if this man has no ability to remember things, how does he know he has "this condition", or that he's in the revenge business (he's not looking at his tatoos every few seconds). I think he'd be a lot less-functional in real life, but then we wouldn't have much of a movie would we?
Me, Myself, & Irene: The first half-hour of this movie had real promise, and there were some funny little bits scattered throughout... but, there was no glue to hold the mess together. That's what the story was - a complete mess. A lot of this movie made absolutely no sense whatsoever, instead it relied on stuff like "a guy with a chicken stuck up his ass" for entertainment. Yes sir, millions of years of evolution, 5000 years of civilization, and it's produced this.
Memphis Belle: Someday, hollywood will officially beat WWII to death. I think if you watched every WWII movie back-to-back-to-back, it would probably last longer than the war did. So many of them are just like this one - a mediocore story about kids thrust into an extrodinary circumstance. Sure, it's a decent movie, but considering the subject matter, you'd have to work to make it a really bad film.
Men in Black: Mindless fun. The only problem is that now the conspiracy theorists who really believe in the "real life men in black" will be laughed at. Nobody is going to take them seriously after this movie. They must feel so betrayed.
Men in Black II: More of the same stuff. Not enough surprises or plot twists - it was way too straight-forward. Believe it or not, it was better than I thought it would be - I thought it would totally suck poop, but it was watchable.
Mermaids: Comments Coming
Miami Blues: This movie was dismissed too quickly by too many people. Is there a backdoor entrance to the American dream? I thought that both Alec Baldwin and Jennifer Jason Leigh put in terrific performances. There were lots of quirky little scenes in this movie that made it extra special.
Midnight Madness: This movie deserves a cult following. fagabeefe?
The Mighty Ducks: I think I saw this, but I'm not sure. In any event, it was a silly disney kids movie. I can safely say that much without even being sure I saw the movie.
Million Dollar Baby: I didn’t want to like this movie – the main plot line seemed kind of cliché. Though I suppose the ending was original. The thing that drew me in was the script & acting. I’m usually especially critical of “big name” stars, but heck, they did a good job.
Minority Report: For some reason, this movie reminded me of L.A. Confidential. That's a good thing though, because both were excellent cop-conspiricy dramas. The concept of this movie was really neat. Although, I considered it more fantasy than sci-fi. I really liked the rich, detailed futuristic cinemetography / set design / environment stuff. It made the movie feel very authentic. It's really interesting to see how Spielberg's directorial style has changed with time. It's still really good, but very different than his earlier style. Nice to see that he doesn't just repeat his old tricks.
Miracle on 34th Street: There is no Santa Clause. Parents just made him up so little kids would be good for a month or so leading up to Christmas. Also, it totally gives them a power trip - knowing that they've totally fooled their kids. I think the whole thing is darn cruel.
Misery: I want Kathy Bates to be my deranged ex-lover.
Mission Impossible: Completely ridiculous. They're making a sequel? If there is a God, I hope he hears me pray that I never have to see the sequel. If I do end up seeing it, I'll want a refund on my prayer.
Mission to Mars: It wasn't as bad as I had expected. So, is the absence of a negative automatically a positive? Not really. There were things to like about this movie (the special effects and the lack of sexual innuendo), but the story was just a little weak. It was almost like just going to Mars wasn't enough... there had to be something, why not ancient aliens? I think it would have been better if the whole alien subplot continued through the entire movie. Instead, the end of the movie had nothing to do with the first 4/5ths. I did like the music during the scene where they're looking for the leak - it was freaky and unique.
Mississippi Burning: Damn Rednecks.
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day:This movie didn't try too hard, and as a result, really worked. There were times when I was watching this, where I was looking for the cliche... and I was delightfully surprised not to find it. In many ways this movie was like an updated version of Breakfast at Tiffany's.
Miss Potter: What is it with these English movies? Everything is going along just fine, and then wham! they smack the otter, and it's all just dreadfully sad. It's not that I think every movie needs a hollywood ending, but could they just be a tad nicer to our feelings? Yes, of course I liked it and all...
Mr. Holland's Opus: Could you die happy just knowing that you made a small difference in people's lives? If so, then you'll probably be all sad by the end of this movie.
Mr. Mom: It had to be done. Dad stays home & mom goes to work. In a matter of time, every possible living scenario will have been done in a movie.
Mrs. Doubtfire: One of Robin Williams' good movies. He really did quite a convincing job as an old prude.
Metropolis: It's funny to see a movie like this - a vision of the future as seen from the 1920's. I'm convinced that people who think we're headed toward a coporatocracy (neat word eh?) have no faith in their fellow man. The good nature of people has proven futuristic naysayers wrong time and time again. Sure, there still might be some catastrophe to come, but the chances of it being something that professional worriers are generally worried about (like nuclear war, global environmental catastrophe, etc) is nil.
Modern Problems: I can't even remember what the plot of this was. It was some kind of comedy about a bunch of people in a house & a telekinetic housekeeper or something. Another movie that would work on a rainy Saturday morning... when you're sick.
Money for Nothing: Money can't buy love, it can't buy happiness, it can't buy peace, it can't alleviate worry, it has a spirit all its own. Money carries problems with it. If you get money and haven't learned how to have it, you're in for trouble. (and if you find it laying around on the street, you're really screwed!)
Monsoon Wedding: About halfway through, I was thinking, what a dreadful piece of bleaaaugh... But it got better, and by the time it was over, I was thinking, what a cool movie. Worth the rental just for the exposure to the whole Indian wedding thing. It was a little hard to pick out the dialog sometimes though - they drift back and forth between Hindi? with subtitles and English, and it's kind of tough to figure out when they've switched because it all sounds the same. A couple times, I was waiting for subtitles, then I realized... oh, they're speaking English again.
Monster's Ball: A charming love story, where obstacles to romance get killed off one by one... which I thought was far "too easy". It would have been a much more challenging movie if nobody had died & the romance still happened. I did like the way that the movie left a lot of the dialogue unspoken - you had to pay attention to the subtleties of the acting to understand what the characters were thinking. Worth a view...
Monsters Inc.: A fun premise, great animation & all... but there was something missing that left it short of the benchmark set by Pixar's earlier films. I think it's a simple matter that the jokes just weren't as clever... or maybe the timing was a little off... I mean there was so much potential that I expected to be blown-away. Still, it was a fun movie & entertaining & worth a view.
Monty Python's Life of Brian: Jesus Christ, what a funny movie.
Monty Python's Meaning of Life: In case you've ever wondered, leave it to Monty Python to answer life's most urgent question. Philosophical throughout, this movie will forever change how you view your place in life and in the world at large.
Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail: If you haven't seen this, you've missed out on everything. If you saw it and didn't laugh your ass off, then you have absolutely no sense of humor. You're probably an idiot too.
Moonraker: James Bond kills bad guys in outer space.
Mortal Kombat: I'm not sure if I saw this... or just played the video game. It's not like there's much difference anyway.
Moscow on the Hudson: Robin "I defect" Williams actually acting. Enjoyable, but a bit "dated". Cold war is over everyone. I wonder how other cold war movies will "age"?
Mostly Marta: Mostly a much better movie than the US remake (No reservations). A driven female chef learns to live and love a little. I liked how the end was kind of messy, but also kind of worked-out.
Mother: Albert Brooks is one of those people who can make just about any movie interesting. In this one he tries to find out about himself by moving back in with his mother (Debbie Reynolds). Lots of funny dialogue ensues. Protective ice? Ha!
The Motorcycle Diaries: Che! Refreshing, stylistic, and redemptive.
Mulan: Yes, I rented a "kid's movie". Hey! I like animation, what can I say? I did fast-forward through the songs though... they were just a little "too much". All in all, it was a decent movie. It probably disney-fied an otherwise classic fable (forever destroying the original), but that's what disney does!
Mulholland Drive: The last thought you have before you die. The dream you never remember having. The world the way you wish it was. People and events happening all around you. Never knowing why. Not being a part of it all. Abosolute control over an uncertain destiny. This has been a recording, don't be alarmed.
Multiplicity: This was a fun movie, it's comedy where a person has himself cloned to help with his busy life. Of course, his life just gets busier and it doesn't work. I was wondering... would this work as something other than a comedy? Perhaps a murder/drama/mystery? There are a lot of possibilities here, I'm sure it's just a matter of time until someone makes another similar movie. (see the sixth day - and it sucked).
The Mummy: I guess I didn't really see all of this, I fell asleep sometime in the middle. Strange, I was trying to remember how it ended, then I deduced I must have fallen asleep.
The Muppets movie: The only good Muppets movie in my opinion. The movie makes us forget that these are not real "people", they're made-up fuzzy creatures. wouldn't that be a trip if Muppets were real... and working at the McDonalds or something?
My Blue Heaven: "...You could melt all this stuff"... how I'd love to use that line someday.
My Cousin Vinny: Comments Coming
My Girl: I don't honestly remember much about this, just that some little kid dies of bee stings.
My Life as a Dog: Growing up in Scandinavia. Shoot, I don't really remember the plot of this one either, just that it was cute & good.
My Stepmother is an Alien: Pretty darn stupid.